Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Movie Review: Crank (2006)

By invoking the power of Thor, my sister's cat has finally had its soul cleansed. The ice giants battling for her heart have been driven out by the might of Mjolnir, and in the coming battle of Ragnarok, I intend to ride her as mount that will rival the ferocity of Fenrir himself.

This also means that my nightly binge of Netflix movies is coming to a close.

This last night, I had the pleasure of watching Crank (2006), which is yet another cult classic long on my to-watch list, and yet another title deserving of its status.

The story follows a hitman who is poisoned and forced to keep his adrenaline running at full power to slow his death long enough for him to enact revenge on his killers. It's a singular type of movie focused around one concept of constantly getting the main character jacked through ever increasing demands of craziness, all the while speeding towards certain death. Watching this movie was like watching a train accelerating toward a wall that was constantly moving back. The faster the train went, the further away the wall got, yet you knew that inevitably the train would ram full speed into that wall, and here you are strapped in the driver's seat just clinging onto the armrests white-knuckled, jumping back and forth between "Dear god just get it over with!" and "No No No! Not yet!"

So yeah, it was one really interesting ride well worth watching once through.

No life altering or genre altering stuff happened in this movie. I didn't go cry myself to sleep or rethink my life, nor did I leap up and go "Hell yeah!" However, I had to hand it to this movie on creating a truly unique experience for me none-the-less. It was a wild ride from start to finish that avoiding being shallow, glossed over, or over done. I mean really, with a movie like this, it could have gone wrong so many times and yet it didn't! I'm mostly shocked that the director and writer didn't botch this movie with such a simple and focused plot element.

I know that doesn't sound like high praise, me saying "Hey! Nice job, dude! You didn't mess up when I totally figured you would!" but you have to realize that not-messing up is how you get it right. Crank was supposed to be a wild, crazy ride, and it avoided all the pitfalls that would stop that from happening and delivering an action-packed movie still full of more character development than one sees in over half the romantic comedies and shoot-em-up's that get churned out every summer for chicks/bros to drag their boy/girl-toys too.

I wouldn't watch Crank twice, but I'm really glad I watched it once. If you ever find yourself cat-sitting one of Satan's brood, I'd highly recommend this movie.

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